in german i put this guy on the corner of every paper i turn in and the teacher hates me
please, if you’re not too busy, just take a minute and
look at your forearm
just take a good long look at that thing
the average length of a (female) forearm is about 9.75 inches long
so please, the next time you describe a human penis in your fanfiction as being “only 12 inches long”
just look at your goddamn hand and remember that that “only 12 inches” is 2.75 INCHES LONGER THAN YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING FOREARM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
one time in class we were taking a test and this kid kept looking at my answers so i dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive carved my name into his leather seat i took a louisville slugger to both headlights slashed a hole in all 4 tires maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats
How to make a British guard laugh
well that’s not what I expected
I expected a lot of things, but that was not one of them.
I FOUND IT
THE BEST PAINTING OF ALL TIME
It’s called Adam and Eve (or something along those lines, there’s two versions and it’s translated) and the first time I saw it I couldn’t stop laughing for a solid five minutes.
Just look at this shit.
If you just glance at it, it looks like God is flipping off Adam and Eve.
Then you have Adam here like “Hey man, why are you so pissed at me, its all her fault.”
Meanwhile the animals look like someone took a candid photo with a really bright camera flash, even though this was painted in 1623.
The horse is stoned as hell.
Even the babies with God have no clue what is going on, this kid is confused as fuck.
Also, motherfuckin’ flying baby heads because why the hell not.
Like it’s so random the entire rest of the painting is like “what the fuck is this shit.”
Best painting ever.